Two days after Giacomo shocked the Kentucky Derby winning at odds of 50-1 -- upsetting 5-2 favorite Bellamy Road owned by George Steinbrenner -- The Late Show with David Letterman looked back at the race with a couple monologue jokes, some banter at the desk plus a comedic tape of the running, a pre-taped bit with stage manager Biff Henderson at the Derby, and finally, winning jockey Mike Smith reading the night's Top Ten list, Top Ten Tips For Winning The Kentucky Derby.
Letterman: By the way, do we have any folk visiting New York City?
Letterman: Try if you can and get in on this: Today the Hello Deli had a special on a horse owned by George Steinbrenner!
Letterman: You folks see the Kentucky Derby? It was exciting. You know, George Steinbrenner, the man who owns the Yankees, also had a horse running in the Kentucky Derby, and the horse was heavily favored and actually ended up seventh. You know, and I don't want to say this, but I think it might have been George Steinbrenner's fault because halfway through the race he fired the jockey!
AT THE DESK
For example, I don't know much about betting or anything but if you -- like $2, $2 on Giacomo, on the Kentucky Derby on Saturday, you would -- if you were holding the wining ticket -- you would have won a billion dollars! A billion dollars on a $2 investment.
Letterman: And I tell you ladies and gentlemen -- even after taxes, that's still serious money!
Paul: I would say.
Letterman: And people were saying, "Well, where, where did this horse come from?"
Take a look, if you didn't see it, here now the closing stages of Saturday's 131st running of the Kentucky Derby. And here's Giacomo winning the race. Take a look:
Letterman: Did you see that? Immediately after a stewards' inquiry went up because they determined, and what it looked like for me on that tape, the horse had some kinda rocket-pack strapped to its' ass! It was cleared and he's the winner.
Paul: Oh, he was cleared? OK.
BIFF JOINS DAVE
Biff: Did you know the Kentucky Derby is considered the most exciting two minutes in sports?
Woman: I did.
Biff: Did you know that the ladies consider me the most exciting two minutes in the bedroom?
Woman: I believe it.
Biff: Who's taller, you or Tom Cruise?
Rose: I'm gonna say me.
Biff: You know, you guys are so cute I'd like to put you in my pocket and take you home.
[Jocks turn towards Biff in unison with looks of consternation.]
Biff: Thanks for the tip!
Smith: You got it.
Biff [turning to camera]: Letterman, you can kiss my ass!
Letterman: Top Ten Tips For Winning The Kentucky Derby... It's such an exciting event and it kicks off the Triple Crown and it's so successful that they're talking about having it every Saturday...
And here now, presenting tonight's Top Ten list, your winning jockey from the 131st running of the Kentucky Derby, Mike Smith. Mike, c'mon out.
[Mike walks onstage to applause and reads the Top Ten.]
Letterman [back at desk]: Those guys -- those guys are tremendous athletes. Because you have these animals, they're like a ton and a half of just muscle -- and hair, and they're thundering down that track, nineteen other horses, shoulder-to-shoulder, going forty miles per hour, on a dirt track for god's sake!
Paul: Yeah, I don't know how they do it.
Letterman: I don't know how they do it either.
Paul: Well, now we know how -- they yell giddyup!
Letterman: Giddyup, yeah. But that giddyup only seems to make them go faster!
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